Men Vs Women

Notaantaraaksara : Aku lupa aku ambil ni kat mana, found it in my files in my external hard disk. Anyway, Kudos to whoever write them in the first place!

1 NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2 EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $2o, even though it is only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3 MONEY

A man will pay $2 for $1 item that he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4 BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom : a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel from Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5 ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6 CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7 FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8 SUCCESS

A successful man is one that makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9 MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

10 DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11 NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12 OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13 FINAL THOUGHT

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Yang Benar

Sebenarnya dalam hati aku masih ada marah.
Lebih kepada kecewa sebenarnya.

Minda bertanya,
Kenapa?
Ah, soalan yang bermula dengan kenapa ini selalu buat buntu.
Seolah tak tercapai akal fikiran.

Jujur kata,
Luka yang kali ini cukup dalam.

Buat pemilik bilah tajam berbisa ini,
Kali ini aku tak mampu memaafkan.
Kali ini aku tersungkur di pintu dendam.
Melutut di depan neraca dunia.

Dan bila aku bertemu kau di alam nyata,
Entah apa yang akan berlaku.

Kerana di alam fantasi aku,
Kau sudah begitu banyak kali aku bunuh.
Kau sudah aku seksa dengan pelbagai cara.

Betapa bodohnya aku mengharapkan kau faham.
Apatah lagi dengan rentak tarian aksara gila minda aku,
Tak mungkin kau akan faham.

Kerana kau cuma anak kecil tak tidak rela besar.
Dan persis anak kecil juga,
Kau minta semua.
Tapi aku bukan kau punya bonda.

Kau berada di gunung sana.
Aku di lembah.
Tak mungkin kau hancurkan diri untuk tunduk bersama redah dunia.
Tak mengapa.
Aku sudah tidak kisah lagi.
Tapi hati tetap luka bila gunung dipandang.
Tapi hati tetap berdarah kala gunung disebut.
Kerana suatu masa dahulu,
Gunung itu aku yang bantu suburkan.

Kecewa yang hebat melanda diri ini adalah akibat salah percaya.
Kecewa yang meruntun jiwa ini akibat jujur tanpa selindung.

Di balik segala,
Aku temu kuda putih.
Halus bulunya, manja apabila aku belai wajahnya.
Ekornya yang cantik sekali sekala memukul aku manja.
Dan kuda itu,
Acapkali buat senyum terukir di bibir.
Kerana kuda itu memacu ke jalan indah penuh bahagia,
Dan aku menunggang di atasnya.

Lelaki Itu Dari Kaca Mata Aku

Men conceal sadness by beating the crap out of each other, kicking a ball around with 10 other men and talk shit about women.
- ayat yang dicuri dari sini. (Entri lama, kantoi stalk. Kikiki)

Sedang aku berblogwalking (atau boleh juga dipanggil stalking) blog yang best tapi nazak (atau dah berkubur), maka tertarik aku dengan ayat di atas.

Reminds me of him.

Aku membesar dengan dia. Dia abang aku.

Dari kecik, aku selalu pelik dengan dia ni. Sebab dia macam tak ada perasaan.
Kena marah dengan mak/ayah, kena libas ke apa ke, rilek je.
Dah lah keje asyik main, merayap je tapi result exam gempak.
Dia ni asyik senyum je, kalau nampak dia sedih kira rare gile ah.
Omputih cakap, once in a blue moon.

Seingat aku, memang tak ingat bila-bila masa yang dia menangis.
Seems like all time happy je.

Weird, no?

Sampai lah satu hari.
Salah seorang dari ahli keluarga meninggalkan kami.

That was the first time I ever saw him cry.
Waktu itu aku berumur 16 tahun.

For that 16 years, he (sort of) lied to me.
Aku sikit lagi nak percaya (ok, mungkin dah percaya) dia ni tak ada perasaan.
I mean like, I never saw him very sad or being emotional or so.
Macam aku cakap, macam tak ada perasaan.

Hari tu aku belajar,
Sebanyak mana pun topeng yang kita pakai,
Kadang-kadang topeng boleh terlucut juga.

Hari itu aku belajar,
Abang aku juga manusia biasa.
Kalau diduga, boleh pecah juga kolam air mata.

Ego?
Kalau hati dah ditusuk luka, kadangkala ego pun tak mampu bantu pura-pura kuat.

Lelaki itu, dari kaca mata aku,
Seseorang yang aku cukup hormat,
Cukup sayang.

Berbalik kepada ayat yang dicuri tadi, mungkin ada benarnya.

Men conceal sadness by beating the crap out of each other, kicking a ball around with 10 other men and talk shit about women. 

Notaantaraaksara : Aren't we all full of lies and have at least one mask with us at all time?

Blogwalking

Lompat.

Lompat.

Dari satu blog ke blog yang lain.

Cubaan mencari blog menarik yang masih aktif.

Terlampau ramai yang sudah pasif.

Sudah terjumpa medium lain, mungkin.

Diri berbisik - twitter.

Di zaman kegemilangan Facebook, blog-blog masih gagah dan utuh.

Musuh yang satu ini - twitter - micro-blogging katanya.

Tetapi yang micro ini menyuntik racun yang melumpuhkan makro.

Sudut hati aku timbul rasa kecewa.

Seperti hari-hari sebelum ini sewaktu aku melompat-lompat.

Bahasa urbannya, blogwalking.

Seperti biasa,

Aku malas tinggalkan jejak jika tidak perlu.

Senyap-senyap sahaja melintas.

Another Provocation I Would Say.

Another attack to certain gender.
Any keyboard warrior?
Any budding keyboard warrior?
No?
Yes?
Perhaps?

Notaantaraaksara : Semuanya hanya susunan aksara, bukan?

How Factual Is A Fact?

Wanita Malaysia adalah yang ketiga paling ramai curang di dunia, menurut akhbar laman berita GhanaWeb yang memetik laporan akhbar China Press.

Aku rasa berita so-called hangat ni dah tersebar luas, siap ada yang bergaduh-gaduh lagi kat laman sosial, masing-masing dengan perdebatan sendiri. Masing-masing pertahankan seksualiti masing-masing.

Ramai yang tahu, berita ni petikan akhbar tempatan yang dipetik dari laman berita GhanaWeb yang memetik laporan akhbar lain - ChinaPress.

Ramai yang tak berapa jelas, statistik ni berasal dari Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey 2012.

39% wanita mengakui pernah curang manakala 33% lelaki mengakui pernah curang - menurut statistik tersebut.

This survey - Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey 2012 - surveyed 26,000 people in 26 countries, which means, it only surveyed 1,000 people per country.

People, you have to know that statistics are merely numbers that is changing every second. People die every second. So, I don't think it is too much to say statistics are not that accurate.

We need statistic. It is a measure of a lot of things - life, death, health - everything. That's why we have all those bancian done annually.

The larger the number of people involved in the survey, the more accurate it may be.

Menurut Berita Harian, penduduk Malaysia kini 28.3 juta (menurut Banci Penduduk dan Perumahan 2010 - so in TWO years this figure must increase, correct?)

My question would be; how reliable is 1,000 over 28.3 millions?
That is not even 0.00001% of the population.
That is Malaysia only.
Other 25 countries' population?

Well, it is not easy to make a survey for the whole world. Who said it is?

Fighting over this thing - to me at least - is useless.

First, the survey is not that reliable. It is just a survey made by a condom producer to produce better products. It was not a country's survey or so. Not that I say Durex's survey is unreliable, but rather - they made the survey to gain profit in future (by making better products) - to understand how people around the globe feel about sex and improve that experience, and not to survey the whole world's population behaviour.

Second, the numbers. Come on, it was not even 1 percent of Malaysian population.

Third, we need not gender fights, no?

Oh, come on, people.
Curang.
Both genders do cheat.
Even if - Given the statistics are reliable enough, the difference is just 6 percent. And you people are going to fight between each other?

And you guys know how provocative newspaper can be, right? RIGHT??

Don't tell me you're going to marry the person that has the same genital as you do.
You wasn't born by your father, no?

Notaantaraaksara : It is fun though, seeing all people fight over something this.

Facebook

Sedikit daripada zaman Facebook yang masa bosannya aku habiskan dengan main macam-macam kuiz.

I took the quiz What's Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type? and the result is ENFP-The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!
In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts. 

I took the quiz Your Water Personality Type and the result is You Are an Ocean

You are impressive and fascinating. People are drawn to your glory.
You are a profound and passionate person. You are boundless in your power.
You have a philosophical and poetic soul. You take a lot of time to reflect.
You are mysterious and captivating. You are too deep for anyone to figure out.

I took the quiz The Shape Personality Test and the result is You Are Skilled

You are balanced and competent. You value harmony.
Other people see you as outgoing, hyper, and even a bit overwhelming.
Your ideal romantic relationship is peaceful, romantic, and private.
You do best in tasks that require you to be logical, hard-working, and courageous.

I took the quiz What's Your Love Quote? and the result is  Life is a temporary phenomenon. What lasts is Love While your body might not last forever, your love always will. You're not afraid to give a relationship everything you have, even if it takes everything you've got. What you want is beyond this world's physical pleasures, you want the eternal - divine love. Notaantaraaksara : Benar atau tidak, biarlah yang terdekat dengan diri yang hakimi, okay?

About Facts

"Facts are boring,"

This is a common response when we start to elaborate on something usings facts.

Fact is something that has really occurred or is actually the case - Wikipedia.

Oh, I do that also at times - especially during a History or Geography talk. Well, everybody does that I guess.

But one thing about fact is,
IT IS A FACT.

No argument can make a fact go wrong.
Because it is the fact.
Because the fact is the truth.

Hard to swallow, aye?

Sepagi Setahun Lepas

08 May 2011. Ahad. 0925H.

Pagi tersebut, sedang aku kebosanan menunggu bermulanya kelas KPP (Kurikulum Pendidikan Pemandu) dalam cubaan mendapatkan lesen, aku berchatting dengan abang aku. Terima kasih teknologi. Dan terima kasih bijak telefon.

Konversasi tersebut mencucuk sisi humor.

Aku : Tadi aku nak gelak 'hahaha' tapi tak jadi sebab kawan aku cakap gelak gitu lame.

Abang aku reply,

" Member aku cakap gelak 'lol' la lame. Macam tak serius,"

Okayyy~
Can somebody tell me HOW exactly do we laugh (in words) without being lame?

Hamka will go Woha!
Some people go Bahahahaha.
Others - especially in twitter are more diversed - they go wkwkwkwkwk, kuikuikui, heuheuheu, etc.

Like seriously, people?

Now we're pre-judged by laughter?
What a mess the world are.

Notaantaraaksara : Tengah belek-belek folder, terjumpa perbualan dengan abang yang buat hati rasa lucu.

Dalam Minda

Kadangkala aku rasa aku terlalu banyak berfikir.

Kadangkala aku rasa aku mahu berhenti berfikir buat seketika.

Halakan minda ada pantai, pada sungai.

Tetapi setiap kali aku bayangkan sungai, airnya mengalir begitu deras.

Sign of stress.

This is not good.

I need to get all this out of my chest.

I need to!

Soalnya, bagaimana?

Terluka

Tarian aksara tergendala sedikit apabila jari berdarah ditoreh bilah tajam.

Terasa sukar menaip menggunakan anggota yang tdak sempurna sihatnya.

Tarian aku sebagai penari di atas pentas dunia ini akan jadi seperti apakah apabila hati yang menjadi penggerak ditusuk duri berbisa penuh racun dusta?

Darah mengalir keluar dari belahan jari yang sebelumnya bercantum tanpa cela.

Dibasuh dengan air, plaster jadi pengganti.

Namun, walau setelah sembuh, masih takkan mungkin jadi seperti yang dahulu.

Tersungkur. Terjelopok.

Tarian penuh cela tetap diteruskan walau tanpa muzik.

Muzik itu hati mereka akan nyanyikan.

Ada yang berentak gembira, ada yang berentak sedih.

Ada yang penuh suka, ada juga penuh benci.

Namun cerita dan perasaan sebenar harus ditanya tanpa prejudis pada penari.

Sehodoh mana pun tarian hidup dia.

Notaantaraaksara : Entri yang ditulis selepas jari terluka kena pisau. Ok. Tamat melacur perhatian di sini.

Seorang

Sudah lama tidak menulis.

Fenomena yang aku lihat sekarang,
Blogger-blogger ramai yang asyik dengan dunia lain.
Dunia twitter misalnya.
Dunia sebenar juga.

Serba sedikit rasa keseorangan di sini.
Tapi bagus juga.

Mudah aku luahkan segala yang terbuku di hati.

I am alone, but not lonely.